MY LIFE

I would like to tell you about my life-where I was born, the places I've lived, my life experences from the good to the bad, some of the hurdles I've over come and the accomplishments I've achieved.

I was born in Southern Utah. I lived there till I was about two years old, then moved to Montana, lived there about a year, then moved back down to Southern Utah for about five years. Along the way, I have had some hurdles to get over. I was born into a polygamist family; my father had two wives. My mother was the second wife. I am the second oldest of eight children. When I was seven (almost eight) we came up to Salt Lake to visit my grandparents on my mother's side like we did every year with out my dad. But that year my father called and said he did not want us back. He sent a moving truck up to drop off our stuff and that was the last day that he was my father as I knew him. Two years later my mother remarried to a man who had four wives (my mother was the fifth wife). We moved from Sandy to Herriman where I lived for six years.

My education was not a priority to my mother; I went from kindergarten to sixth grade. My mother did not know what to do with her younger children while she went to work so she pulled me out of school at the end of sixth grade to be a full time care giver to her five younger children. I did this until I was fifteen; then I moved out, bought a car (which I paid for in cash) lied about my age, and got a job being a nanny. I had a full-time job and a car at the age of fifteen. At the age of sixteen, I drove myself to drivers' ed and got my license. I kept my nanny job for about two years.

When I turned eighteen, I decided that I needed a better job, so I started working for a printing company. I did almost every job in that company; I started at the bottom and worked my way up to a manager. When I turned 20, I bought some real-estate, quit my job to remodel my property, and started a new career.

Well, from this point on, I had some hurdles to over come. Over the next two years, my whole world started to crumble down. My relationships went bad as a resut of my emotional issues from my child hood. This put me in a position to start looking at my life where I was then, and where I wanted to see myself in the future.

At the age of twenty-two, I met a man and got pregnant with my son. He, of course, left me, and I was forced to raise my son on my own. I moved back home with my mother and tried to reaise my son the best I could. I started my own business cleaning houses to support myself and to have a flexible schedule so I could stay home with my son. I lived with my mother until my son was sixmonths old and then got a place of my own.

I am a positive person and always try to look at a bigger picture. My bigger picture over the past five years has been to provide a stable environment by being home as much as possible for my son and put my education and career on hold. When my son turned five, I started going full force with my education. Starting with my high school diploma, which I got in four months comming in with no credits. Then taking a four month break and got my generals done in Humanities. Now after taking another six month break I am starting Massage Therapy. I have always tried to educate my self as much as possible as you can see.
Over the past twelve years, I have learned to help myself through self help books, and sharing my story. To help with the abuse of my childhood from being raised in a fundamentalist organization.

As I move forward, I am continuing to set goals for my self, and accomplishing them one by one. My son is now seven, and have enjoyed setting an example for him to follow. I am in a healthy relationship of three in a half years. Everything around my is positive, and it feels great because I have created this all on my own. Life, to me is about the choices you make. Despite the obstacles I 've experienced, I have made the choice to move forward and to continue to accomplish my dreams.

I have been contemplating these questions for quite sometime so I decided to write a poem that I would like to share with you.

Life

Have you ever stopped to listen to the silence that surrounds you?

Have you wanted to freeze time to reflect, on moments that have passed you?

Have you stopped growing due to thoughts, of change that might surround you?

Have you grasped love or pain in it's entirety?

Have you pondered and reflected the obstacles in front of you?

Have you taken a moment a moment to think about death, and what that means to you?

Have you reflected on life in it's entirety?

Have you thought to acquire from others their strengths and weakness, and learn the lessons of life that surrounds you?

Have you in an instant contemplated the complexity of love and what that might bring to you?

Have you is not the question but will you, take a moment to, live, love, reflect, grasp, and listen, and after doing this now you can take a moment to breath, for now you know that you are alive.

By: Maleta 9/24/07

MY SKYDIVE

In August me, Tom, and my two brothers Steven, Mike, and his wife Marcy went skydiving. This all started with asking Steven what he would like to do for his birthday. Then Michael said hey what about me, and can Marcy go as well? I was so very excited and nervous at the same time. The count down was on I wanted to back out but how could I do that I was the one who put this together. I had to be the bigger sister and set the example right? Well the day of the jump Michael came to pick Tom and I up from our house and nobody could eat we were all no nervous. When we got there we had to sign a disclaimer that if we died the sky diving place would not be held responsible. I am thinking yeah right now getting more nervous. Oh well here goes we all sign, before this I had called my mom to ask her if she wanted to come up and watch "she said no way I will not watch my kids die" so we went up and did our jump with out her watching. They split our group up so Marcy and I went up first and showed the men how it was done. Marcy was the first out of the plane I was second to the last and the person in front of me was totally freaking out which made it even harder to jump.
The moment I jumped the feeling of butterflies were not there just this feeling of I am falling and nothing can stop that which I have to admit was scary. But being strap this close to a good looking man hey why not enjoy the ride so that is what I did. If you ever think of skydiving please please go through ogdenskydive.com we did research and they are the best!!!!!!!!

I have to say this was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. I loved being able to share this experience with my brothers seeing there excitement and possibly dying having fun. I wish moments like this could last forever. Don't get me wrong I don't have a death wish but if you are to dye wouldn't you like to die doing something fun???? Of course I landed safe and sound on the ground you have a better chance of dying in a car wreck than skydiving.
I would recommend it to anyone, by the was yes I am still scared of hights this is a much different feeling like you are flying......

What is reality?

I am who I am nothing can change that. Who I become tomorrow will only effect what I was yesterday. I have spent my life living but when my past started to become my present is when I realized that it was time to make some changes today. I have been living my life for everybody else so today I am making some changes for me. I will not be hurt by what anyone else has to say or anything about my past that affects my present will not have hold on me as a person living today. I am free of all boundaries and limitations I am free of anyone else’s fears. I am me and will always be. The tears when they come I will welcome for I am a product of my past and a woman of emotion. But when I look up to the birds while listening to their sweet voices I will know that I am alive and living for a moment. My tears flow just as a river flows from a beautiful mountain. My heart loves like a child with out conditions

Contemplations of life

What makes life so meaningful? Is it the what you accomplished in the day or is it what accomplished you in a day? I have been so bussy with the everyday things that you have to do in a day that I forget what it takes to just enjoy what life has to offer. What is motherhood? Is it a role you play being good mom verses bad mom? I feel this is a game that I have to play being a single mother. What one parent says verses the other. For example my son does not have to clean up at his dad's house but at my house he does does that make me the most horrible mother? The smallest of battles that we have to deal with on a everyday basis's can be the most memorable. Meaning if my son died tomorrow was his room so horrible that I had to yell at him or ground him to make my point. If something happened to him would I feel bad and live my life with regret that the last words out of my mouth was as such? How do you teach discipline and live with out regret? I am caught up in this world that life is to short to live with out regret. My son brings this up to me tonight that if I am so up set with him would I feel sorry for how I acted tomorrow if he was gone? I did not know how to answer that question.

I still feel that I have to hold to my guns and keep him responsible in teaching him how to clean etc... but maybe find another form of discipline. If a six year old is asking questions like this maybe I am doing something wrong.